R Rated Movies

Parenting humor from Ellie Lofaro www.ellielofaro.com

A friend of mine told me a great story related to the huge land mine of being discriminating and discerning about family entertainment. A father of three teenagers had a family rule that they could not attend “R” rated movies. His teens wanted to see a particular popular movie that had just been released in local theaters. It was rated “R.”

The teens interviewed friends and even some members of their church to find out what was offensive or questionable in the movie. They made a list of pros and cons about the movie in order to convince their dad that they should be allowed to see it.

The cons? It contained only three curse words, the only violence was a building exploding (and that’s on TV all the time), and you actually did not “see” the couple in the movie having physical relations; it was just implied--- off camera, of course.

The pros? It was a very popular movie—a true blockbuster! Everyone was seeing it.

It contained a good story and a good plot. It had some great adventure and suspense. There were some brilliant special effects. The stars were some of the most talented actors in Hollywood. It probably would be nominated for several awards. Many of the members of their Christian church had seen the movie and said it “wasn’t too bad.” If they could see the movie then they would not feel like “rejects” when their peers discussed it.

Since there were more pros than cons, the teens had asked their father to reconsider his position just this ONE time and let them have permission to go see it. The father looked at the list and thought for a few minutes. He told them he could see they put considerable time and thought into their request. He asked if he could have a day to think about things before making his decision.

The three teenagers were thrilled. They were sure that they “had him” because their arguments were so convincing. There was no way Dad could turn them down. They happily agreed to let him have a day to think about their request. The next evening, the father called his three teenagers, who were smiling smugly, into the living room. There, on the coffee table, he had placed a plate of brownies. His kids were puzzled. The father told them he had thought about their request and had decided that if they would each eat a brownie, then he would let them go to the movie. But---just like the movie, the brownie had pros and cons.

The pros? They were made with the finest chocolate and other premium quality ingredients. They had the added delight of yummy chocolate chips in them. The brownies were moist and fresh with wonderful, smooth, creamy, luscious chocolate frosting on top.

He had made these fantastic brownies using an award winning recipe. And best of all, the brownies had been lovingly made by the hands of their own dear father.

The cons? The brownies had only one. He had included a special ingredient. The brownies also contained just a little bit of dog poop. But he had mixed it in well and they probably would not even be able to taste the dog poop. He baked the brownies at 350 degrees, so any bacteria or germs had probably been destroyed.

Therefore, if any of his children could stand to eat the special brownies which included “just a little bit of crap” and not be affected by it—then he was confident they would also be able to see the movie with “just a little bit of smut” and not be affected.

Of course, none of them would eat the brownies and the smug smiles left their faces as they filed out of the room. Now when his teenagers ask permission to do something that involves questionable content, the father just asks, “Would you like me to whip up a batch of my special brownies?” There are never any takers.

Parenting…it’s not just a job…it’s an adventure. May God be our guide.